Soulmate Rules

The Soulmate Rules

If dating disasters are all too familiar to you, a new approach is overdue. If you are looking for a loving, lasting relationship, there are certain rules that can make this more likely to happen. So take a deep breath and go back to the drawing board in your search for love by trying the soulmate rules.

1) You First

The search for a significant other starts not with them but with you. Before you can embark on a successful relationship you have to be happy with yourself. If you are looking for a partner to fill the void you feel inside - the relationship is doomed from the start.

Do Know yourself. This means spend time on your own working out who you are and what you want from life before you bring somebody else into your picture.

Don't Fall into the first relationship you can. Being part of a couple can make or break your everyday happiness so take time to make sure you're ready before you rush out to find a partner.

2) Forget the Fairytale

Prince or Princess Charming does not exist. Discard any ideas of perfection you might have because you'll only be disappointed, deluded, or be putting your intended partner under unsustainable pressure. People are complex and flawed beings - that is the beauty of them.

Do Know that relationships - even fledgling ones - run in cycles, sometimes good, sometimes not so good. The trick is to know the difference between what can be changed and improved and what will not or cannot be changed.

Don't Be stuck in a mindset of perfection. You're not screening for a job interview, you're trying to find someone whose interests and ideals match your own.

3) Say 'Yes'

Relax. Go with the flow. Who knows where it might lead you? If you are looking for love then you need as wide a social circle as possible. New friends can introduce you to new lovers.

Do Broaden your horizons - accept an invitation that throws you out of your comfort zone. You might meet somebody interesting who you'd never otherwise have crossed paths with.

Don't Stick with the same people for every activity. Variety leads to love.

4) Right time, right place

Spontaneity is great. Your eyes meet across a crowded room and bam - you're dating. As much as you might like this to be true, it seldom leads to a lasting relationship. In order to find the right person for you, you need to match up on the basics: education, aspirations, ideology, children and careers. There are always exceptions to this rule but usually it holds true.

Do Look to be introduced to a soulmate through your hobbies, friends, family or a good quality dating website - where your ideals and aspirations will be taken into account when matching you up.

Don't Use a hook-up site and expect to find love.

5) More than skin deep

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in your search for a soul mate is to dismiss somebody because they don't quite match up to your physical ideal. Model looks do not necessarily make for a soulmate. Instant lust - yes; lasting love - not so much if your personalities don't match also. Obviously you have to find your potential partner attractive. But don't obsess about the elusive 'chemistry'. You might find sparks fly once you really get to know the person rather than in the first few minutes.

Do Give a potential partner a chance. If you like the person (like, not lust) try three dates before you write them off.

Don't Be shallow. Looks will fade - personality and intellect will become more pronounced.

6) Respect Yourself

You don't need a relationship, you want one. So it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out. You keep looking. It's far better to be single than to be with a person who doesn't treat you with respect.

Do Be confident and assertive. Your partner is lucky to be with you. But you must also be respectful towards them.

Don't Gloss over bad behaviour. If you excuse it once, you are setting the tone for future unhappiness. Communicate your concern calmly and clearly - his/her response will tell you if you have found your soulmate.