How Asking for Help Can Make Us Stronger

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no Wonder Woman. I can’t always do everything that’s asked of me, all of the time. Sometimes I’m tired and worn out. Other times I may just feel overwhelmed by emotion or confused by the task at hand. Or maybe, just maybe, I’m simply not cut out for the job.

I can’t always do things alone, and nor do I want to; because I am not a superhero. And that’s okay.

Or at least it should be.

But something has gone fundamentally wrong with our modern -Westernised- way of thinking. Today, we are more or less told that if you cannot make it on your own, then there’s no point even trying. It’s survival of the fittest at its most brutal. You are on your own. And don’t even think about asking for help.

While for some this prospect may sound exhilarating (think of the lone wolf, “me against the world”, entrepreneurial type), for many others out there such a damning prospect leaves a terrible sense of dread and anxiety. You see, we have all been conditioned to never ask for help, even when we need it most. Because, you know, only weak people ask for help - apparently.

Why don’t we just completely ignore the fact that humanity as a species absolutely relied upon cooperation and help from others to develop into this help-hating society we are today!

For me, it’s only logical that when you are in need you ask for help. But thanks to this bizarre social trend I somehow find myself overriding this basic instinct and turning a blind eye to the problem I’m faced with. I’d rather struggle alone than seek out another person for help and guidance. I would rather run away from a pain-free solution, just to save face. And what’s worse, when I do inevitably crumble, people have the audacity to tell me that I should have just asked for help in the first place. We are all hypocrites.

This trend needs to stop. We need to stop shaming people into thinking that asking for help is a bad thing. That it’s something only a desperate, needy person does. Because it’s not. We ALL need help. And I will not be shamed into believing otherwise. So contrary to what people tell me, I believe that asking for help -being honest and open with others about your situation- is a truly inspiring social mechanism that can help us all. We can all benefit from asking for help a little more, and helping in return.

Asking for help isn’t just about driving out this self-defeating taboo society has left us with. Asking for help is more than just admitting that you might be wrong or unsure. It’s not even really about finding a solution to the problem. No, for me asking for help is a symbol of empowerment.

But it takes guts to open up to others in this day and age.

Asking for help takes a particular kind of courage. And is one that blesses us with a deeper understanding of ourselves, our pitfalls and our needs. It helps us build trust with others, strengthens relationships and demonstrates a willingness to reveal your own vulnerability. Not many people can do that. But the chances are that the people you seek for help are in a similar circumstance as yourself, and can relate deeply to your situation. Perhaps by sharing a little more we can encourage others to do the same. We all need help sometimes, and that’s okay.

By learning to accept our own vulnerability we can grow in ways you never knew were possible. Learning to ask for help is just a starting point to truly accepting and embracing your own self-worth. So don’t be scared to ask anymore. You have so much to gain!

But before I go on to discuss the benefits of asking for help, let me tell you what asking for help is not.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

As I touched upon earlier, I believe that having the bravery to admit that you’re in need takes courage. It demonstrates a sign of maturity and confidence. I don’t associate these things with a sign of weakness. Do you?

Perhaps it’s because we’ve placed so much importance upon being independent that we feel as if we can’t ask for help. But can anyone really get by in life without a little assistance? And although we may have a tendency to idealise perfection, that ideal doesn’t really exist. So don’t let it control your life and stop you from moving forward. That is the exact opposite of perfection.

We also need to stop living in fear. Our fear has gotten the better of us. We fear that by asking for help we will overstep friendships, appear too needy, too vulnerable, too imposing. But here’s the thing - people don’t care. A problem shared is a problem halved after all. And think of it this way, by not sharing your problem with another you are depriving them of an opportunity to assist you. Everyone becomes worse off. Your life as well as the lives of others can only become richer if we are to share. All it takes is the courage to ask.

So, if you find it difficult to ask for help for whatever reason, just remember these following facts:

1. Asking for help will strengthen your relationships

Never asking for help can put a strain of any relationship. Maybe you’re a good listener, but find it difficult opening up about yourself. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would you feel if you were locked out by the other person who always helps you? In any relationship, we must learn to be equal. That means asking for a favour or help every now and then. By doing so, not only do you make your relationship feel more genuine and rich, but it creates a deeper, more intimate connection for both sides. Asking for help from others may also help you weed out the fakes, and help you discover who your true friends are. No one likes the person who runs away in your time of need.

2. There might just be a simple solution to that complicated problem

Oh, the shameful anxiety I’ve caused myself by wracking my brain over a simple problem that was easily fixed when asking a friend... It makes my blood boil with embarrassment! Everyone can offer a different perspective on a situation. Never underestimate the power of getting a second opinion. They might just spot something you’ve missed all along. Better yet, the solution may have been in your hands all along, you just needed to talk it through with another person first.

3. Asking is collaborating

By supporting other people on their path, we can also discover new opportunities that are beneficial for both parties. By asking others, sharing opinions and cooperating more we can all enable each other to do better and become more successful.

4. You are not alone

Repeat this to yourself. Internalise it. Believe it. No one on this Earth is truly alone. Although you may believe it at the time, you are still surrounded by people who I’m sure would not like to see you suffer. People love being there for another. It might just be for the occasional hug, or advice. But remember, all you need to do is ask.

We can all fall on hard times every now and then. But just remember you are not alone, and you don’t have to face the bad all by yourself. If you have any stories you’d like to share about biting the bullet and learning to ask, let us know by sharing your story with us today. And don’t forget, our inspirational psychics are always here for you too, if you ever need that little extra guidance.