8 Ways To Make Friends And Influence People!

Turn yourself into a social butterfly with these quick tips

You can never have too many social contacts. The aim is to meet as many new people, with whom you have a natural affinity, as you can. Your social contacts are people you meet and network with, rather than online friends because meeting in person forms deeper bonds than interacting online. Social contacts are important because they might be able to help you out career-wise, or you can socialise and have a great time with them. Also, you never know, one or two of them might turn out to be lifelong close friends.

While finding friends in your teens and twenties is easy, as you get older, it becomes tougher to make new social contacts. So here are some ideas to help you turn meeting and greeting into blossoming friendships.

1 Listen

The key to nurturing new friendships is listening. People want to be heard. So don't spend the whole time droning on about yourself! If you listen and respond to others, you will win friends. Concentrate on what the other person is saying. Be interested in the points they are making. Make occasional eye contact and smile to show you are engaged in what they are saying.

2 Get intimate

The platonic kind, of course! Platonic intimacy is that connection you have with a friend who is on your wavelength. They understand you and you understand them. When you think there is the possibility of a connection with a potential friend, foster this intimacy by talking about more meaningful subjects. For instance, if you are at a work function and meet a colleague who you feel could be a potential friend, try switching the subject from work to personal aspirations, such as dream travel destinations. By changing the focus of the conversation to something slightly more personal you get a glimpse into what makes this person tick - so you'll be able to see if you could click as friends.

3 Ask questions

Questions show you are interested in finding out more about a person. This interest is flattering for the other person and helps you find out more about them. Ideally the questions should flow between you, avoiding a rapid-fire interrogation! If you don't agree with an opinion expressed, don't get riled. Instead, ask the other person why hold this opinion. You might learn something, even if it's just that this person is not likely to be a friend for you.

4 Story telling

A great way to interact with new people is to tell a story. You could tell a story about many aspects of your life, from how you moved to the area, got your present job or became a particular type of music fan. Telling a story draws your listener into the story of your life, making you more interesting to them so they hopefully want to continue the conversation. Everyone loves to listen to stories, especially if there's a bit of humour in the tale. Likewise you should encourage your new acquaintance to tell a story about an aspect of their life, too. Sharing stories bonds you to new people.

5 Match body language

Body language is an important part of how you communicate. It's your way of taking control of an interaction with a new person. You can make the potential friend feel more comfortable and relaxed around you if you mirror some of their body language. Mirror in a subtle way, such as smiling when they do or adjusting your attitude to match theirs. For example, if they are a quieter type of person, don't overwhelm them with shouting and expressive gesticulations. Lean in slightly when they are speaking to show they have your undivided attention.

6 Positive Attitude

Having a positive attitude will win you friends. Nobody wants to be around a negative person, who is always complaining and criticising other people. So make sure you don't say anything negative about other people to potential new friends. Even if you are justified in believing somebody is not a great person, it shouldn't form part of a getting-to-know-you conversation with a new person. Because if you seem judgemental or negative (justified or not) the newbie will think you'll be judging them next! So keep your conversation positive and upbeat.

7 Praise is good

Everyone loves a compliment. Who wouldn't enjoy hearing that they are clever, attractive or interesting? So don't be afraid to praise the person you're speaking to by complimenting their clothes, hair or conversation. But leave it at one or two compliments as too many could come across as creepy or desperate!

8 Be persistent

If you want to gain something - such as a friendship - you have to be prepared to put the effort into it. Because if you leave arrangements dangling, they probably won't happen. So swap contact details before you leave. Then follow up with a firm arrangement for a coffee date the following week by email or text. Always remember to email the person after your friendship date to say you enjoyed spending time with them. This makes it clear that you want to try to build a future friendship.