Reclaim Your Personal Power

Do you always give in to other people? Perhaps you don't feel confident or strong enough to stand up to their demands? Or maybe your willpower is flagging when it comes to indulging in harmful habits? If people always expect you to acquiesce to their wants and needs, it's time to start putting yourself first, at least some of the time. Take back your personal power by learning to say 'no' to demands that are not in your best interest.

How to say No!

Here are some tips and tricks for learning how to look after your emotional needs

1) Toxic Relationships
Whether this is a friendship or a romantic relationship, you have the right to say 'no' to people who are not good for you. If you are in a relationship with someone who does not have your best interests are heart, or who treats you badly, or who drains you of energy - leave that person behind. It will take courage on your part and it will be painful at the time, but you will be freeing yourself for a better quality of life in the long term. If this person is a family member or a work colleague - so someone you can't cut out of your life - make sure you deal with them on your own terms by taking control of situations when the two of you are together. Don't allow them to manipulate you and try to always see them while another person is present.

2) Express your Talents
You are a creative person, whether your talents lie in practical or theoretical directions. You have the right to express those talents. Say 'no' to anyone who is stifling your talents. If your work is not making the most of your talents, take an evening class as the first step to retraining for a better career. Use your talents in your spare time and share them with others. Anything that obstructs you from using your talents is not working in your best interests and you should leave them behind.

3) Spiritual Choices
Nobody should demand that you follow the religion of your parents - just as you should not demand others share your beliefs. Spiritual belief should not be forced upon you as a child for the sake of 'tradition'. You are free to choose your own path in life. Nobody has the right to judge you for this - as long as you are not harming anybody else. Be strong and decide for yourself what you hold true.

4) It's Your Life
In a similar way, nobody has the right to force their expectations of how your life should be upon you. Perhaps marriage, children, owning a house or having an office job are not the right choices for you. Say 'no' to anyone who tries to tell you how you should be living your life. As long as you are not harming anyone - you are free to choose the lifestyle that fulfils you.

5) Take your Time
People are used to making demands and expecting instant replies and decisions. Don't let anyone pressure you to make a snap decision. The important things in life can always wait for a couple of hours while you weigh your options carefully. Rushed choices are often made from a position of fear, or follow what you think is expected of you, whereas carefully considered decisions are more likely to come from a place of power within you.

6) Be Yourself
Don't pretend to be somebody you're not. The mask will crumble eventually. It's better to be honest with people from the start about who you are - this way you will form relationships based on truth with people who like you for your true self.

7) Live in the Present Moment
Don't live on the past or fret about the future. Say 'no' to people who dwell on past wrongs or who have constant anxiety about what might be. These people will drain you of life force and crumble your will to act. The only impact you can have is right now. You cannot change your past and the only way to change your future is by acting now.

8) Welcome Silence
Don't be afraid of silence. Our culture is afraid of the absence of sound and we cover this fear with our constantly beeping mobile phones, internet and media. Say 'no' to the noise and enjoy moments of quiet and stillness. Set aside ten minutes everyday to sit in silence. Empty your mind of daily worries and you may find yourself connecting to the divine.