It’s all in the body language!

Have you ever wondered why some people are listened to and some people aren’t? Have you also noticed that some people get what they want no matter what? It’s almost as if no matter what they say others pay attention whereas to any one else they wouldn’t blink an eye lid. This is because some of us our “Natural Born Leaders” and some of us aren't. You might recall this when you were at school and in the classroom, some teachers would gain a natural respect from their students whilst others were left there screaming, demanding the pupils attention. If you are a natural born leader, then lucky you! But if you aren’t, don’t fret as there are ways and means if you pay attention to your body language and aura.

Remember that the messages we send out to people are all in our presence. It is the way we stand, the way we choose to speak, how we choose to dress and more importantly how confidently we choose to display all these things. For example, you might buy a new leather jacket but not feel particularly confident in it, lowering your posture a little and walking with your head down. Therefore, no one in their right mind is going to believe for a second that you look good in the jacket because you are not wearing it with pride. It is all in the spirit and zest!

Unfortunately, our body language tends to speak a lot of truth. When we lie we feel uncomfortable and we feel self conscious we look away. If we are uncertain or doubtful of ourselves and our communication then others will pick this up as we refuse to give eye contact, we stutter and may even fidget. This then creates a doubt in the other person’s mind which instantly creates a wall, making it impossible for you to be heard in the right manner. Feeling unsatisfied within ourselves leads to communication disaster as we are all such sensitive beings and feed off each others’ energy.

The first thing to do in this case if you want to demand more respect from those around you is to take a good look inside yourself and work out where your flaws are and what you can work on. For example, you may feel no one listens to you because you have different ideas to them, therefore maybe you need to change the way in which you express those ideas, inviting people in to a story rather than a statement.Perhaps you are shy and quietly spoken, therefore you might want to practice speaking in crowds more, or spending time with people that bring you out of yourself.

Once you realise that you have nothing to hide and that most of us experience the same communication blockages you will begin to feel like you can use your body language in such a way that others take notice. Even leaders feel intimidated if they forget to control or adjust their body language. You can start to become aware of your body language by staring at yourself in the mirror and watching what you do as you speak. You might find for example that your body language clams up when you have to give a particular speech about an uncomfortable subject. We all do this to protect ourselves, but there are ways around it.

The first thing we can do it take note of some obvious details through our body language and the second is a type of visualisation.

Standing correctly

First of all when you look at yourself in the mirror what do you see? Do you see a confident man/woman? Or do you see a frightened child. If you see a frightened child, then do your best to nurture it, letting go of any old beliefs if you can. Next, pay attention to your posture. Note how you stand. Are you shoulders slanted? Is your head down? Do you feel small? Do you feel tall? If you feel small, then stand tall, believe you are tall! Keeping your shoulders pushed back so that you can breathe in the confidence. Then think about the weight of your body. Are you standing on both feet or just one? In order to communicate in a clear and concise way we need to feel balanced, therefore try your best to even your weight out so that you are standing on both feet. Try not to use confidence tricks either such as standing with your arms crossed as a protection barrier or even standing with your hands on your hips – this will put people off and you may even appear as being over confrontational rather than relaxed and at ease with the world.

Believe in what you say!

When you do finally speak believe in every word you say. Think of each word as a golden light pouring out of your mouth and tell yourself that your words are very important and they must be heard.

Don’t fidget!

Pay attention to your hands. What are you doing with them? Are they hanging loosely by your side? Or are they scratching at your head? Perhaps you are even biting your nails or clenching your fists out of frustration? Again, this will be picked up on, even if you are clenching them behind your back. Imagine that your hands are expressive tools – only use them if you need to illustrate something a little more clearly, hand gestures can work well, if they are used in the right way and can attract the right level of attention that you need.

Look at people!

Don’t be frightened to face people but don’t stare them out! Think of your eyes as clever but friendly windows that allow people to peer in every now and then when they need to. This gives them confidence that you have nothing to hide. Eyes give a lot of information away and this is why we shy away from eye contact when we feel uncertain. If you have faith that your information is precise and accurate then your eyes will shine. Remember that if you are giving a speech to a crowd then level out the eye contact, paying an even amount of attention to each person individually.


Visualisation

If you feel that your body language is still out of control, despite everything that you have tried then you can do a special visualisation technique. All you need to do is think of a strong, powerful image. This could be someone you admire or it could be your spirit guide. It could even be someone that you make up. But whoever it is , think of their energy as being right next to yours every time you speak, marking an attraction point. Believe that every time you speak this power draws everyone in to your area safely and with protection. For example, you might imagine that you have a strong and powerful angel at your side that appears in a golden light, asking the people around you to pay attention. Whatever you choose just believe that your own power and speech will work.

Happy speaking!